In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
