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and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
