FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
