**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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