I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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