Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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