i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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