AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
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