Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
