So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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