Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
