New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize