thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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