Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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