Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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