New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
