If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize