hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
