conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
