I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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