whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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