did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
