oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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