you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
