Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
