You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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