You're a womanizer and a bitch.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
