dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
