I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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