just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Randomize
