Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
