i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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