But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
