I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize