My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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