I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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