My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
