Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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