If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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