Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
