i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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