i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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