love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
