Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
well you can't waste a boner
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
