You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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