she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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