So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
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