You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
