yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
