I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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