And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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