I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
