I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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