Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
