it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
