I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
