Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
