Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
