I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
