I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
soo... how was my night?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize