i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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