I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
