You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
