Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
