Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I love you.
Bad choice
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
