I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
