I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Alive.
So much puke
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
