If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
They have beer where we have blood.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
