Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Pappa wants mamma naked
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
