Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
